Developmental disabilities are disorders that begin during early childhood. They are characterized by mental and/or physical impairments causing problems with language, learning, mobility, self-care and, in some cases, the ability to live independently. Some of the most common developmental disabilities include: autism, cerebral palsy, mental retardation, hearing loss and severe vision impairment/blindness.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 17 percent of children under 18 have some type of developmental disability. Many of these children will require some kind of care throughout their lives.

Effect on Siblings

According to the organization, Sibling Support Project, six million children in the U.S. have a brother or sister with some type of developmental disability. Siblings face different kinds of concerns than those who grow up in unaffected families. A child with a disability may take extra care and parental time, leaving some siblings to feel alone or to become resentful or jealous over the attention given to a brother or sister. Siblings may have to accompany parents on long doctor visits, therapy sessions and intervention services. When a sibling enters school, he/she may be embarrassed or concerned about how classmates will feel about a brother or sister who is “different” from other brothers and sisters. Concerns about self-acceptance may eventually be replaced by worries about how the disabled brother or sister will be accepted by his/her own peers. Then, as the children grow older, siblings may worry about having to take on responsibility of care for the disabled child.

Family dynamics may also differ. Sometimes siblings are expected to take on extra responsibilities to give parents more time to care for the child with extra needs. A child may also feel pressure to succeed or guilt for the perceived inequity in abilities.

Sib Support

Families and social service agencies concentrate their efforts to provide the best care for the physical, mental and emotional needs of a disabled child. Brothers and sisters may feel left out, isolated and confused about the cause of a sibling’s problem and his/her ongoing needs.

As parents age, they may become less able to take an active role in the care of a disabled child. In many cases, the burden of care is transferred to the siblings. Therefore, it’s important to foster the relationship between siblings at an early age. An organization, called the Sibling Support Project, aims to provide the foundations for support and help siblings develop healthy expectations for their own lives, as well as those of their brother or sister.

One of the programs offered by the Sibling Support Project is called Sibshop. In some areas, the program is called SibSaturdays. A typical workshop runs from 10:00 AM to 2:00 PM on a Saturday. It may be a one time workshop or offered on a regular basis (weekly or monthly).

Ashley Coulter, Disability Resource Specialist with Vanderbilt Kennedy Center, is a SibSaturday facilitator. She says SibSaturdays provide a time for siblings to focus on just themselves and to interact with other children in similar circumstances. A typical workshop opens with an ice-breaker activity to introduce the children to each other. That’s followed by some off-the-wall, high energy games, like clothes-pin tag. There are age-appropriate arts and crafts activities. Children participate in making the lunch, putting together fun treats, like nachos or “monster” sandwiches. Low energy games and activities are played after lunch. In between activities, children have “talk times.” During these sessions, each child has the opportunity to air concerns and provide suggestions to each other in dealing with peer-related or family-related issues. Sometimes children will role-play to practice handling stressful situations.

Sibshops and SibSaturdays were originally developed for children 8 to 13 who have a brother or sister with developmental disabilities. It has since been adapted for siblings of children with other special needs, like cancer, epilepsy, hearing impairments and HIV-positive status. For more information, or to locate a Sibshop near you, go to http://www.siblingsupport.org. For information about the Sibling Support Project, visit http://www.siblingsupport.org.

For general information on childhood disabilities:

The Arc

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

LD Online

The National Dissemination Center for Children with Disabilities