Embryo Adoption Helping Couples Become Parents

There's no question -- little Emily and Audrey are happy babies.

At almost 8 months, they may sense their parents' joy at having them, but they have no idea about the struggles that came before -- 12 years of fertility problems for Kala and Charlie, including the loss of twin boys when Kala was six months pregnant.

“The days that followed were dark. I think that's typical for any couple,” Charlie said.

A thousand miles away in Texas, J.J. and Carrie knew the feeling.

“Once you've been through infertility, you truly understand what other people are feeling when they can't have a child,” Carrie said.

They have three children now, son Camden and twins Kylie and McKenzie, all conceived through in-vitro fertilization. They had agreed that three would be their limit. But they still had leftover embryos frozen in storage.

“The option was to either thaw them out and just discard them, or let science have them, and we just didn't feel like that was ethically what we needed to do,” Carrie said.

Back in Charlotte at CMC’s Women’s Institute, fertility expert Dr. Michelle Matthews was starting to educate couples about embryo adoption.

“It provides them the opportunity to essentially -- and often how I look at it -- is essentially adopt a child. But they're adopting it at an embryo stage instead of after the birth of the child,” Matthews said.

Among the couples she was working with were Kala and Charlie, who had tried numerous treatments and considered numerous options, including regular adoption.

“We could not come to terms with it ourselves, together, at the same time. One of us would be OK with it, and the other one would start having reservations. And then he might be OK with it and I would be having reservations,” Kala said.

They decided on embryo adoption through the Snowflakes program.

Like a regular adoption, they underwent screening and matching. The agency matched them with J.J. and Carrie.

“We chose first, and then we went back to the agency and said we like this couple, feel good about it, and so then they let them know we had reviewed their file and then they got to review ours,” Carrie said.

After both couples agreed, a pair of embryos was implanted in Kala, who had a healthy pregnancy. Emily and Audrey were born in September.

Neither couple knows the other's last name or exactly where they live. That's part of the legal agreement. It will be the children's decision if they ever meet.

Still, there's a bond of gratitude that spans the miles.

“It's a bond that I don't know that we'll ever be able to adequately express,” Charlie said.

“They're a part of us and will always be for what they've given to us,” Kala said.

“It's definitely a gift that you can give someone else,” J.J. said.

“It's very easy to love them because they have those beautiful babies,” Carrie said.

“A lot of years, I wanted to have babies in my arms, and we do now. (We’re) extremely thankful,” Kala said.

So far, seven couples in the Charlotte area have used embryo adoption. Six of them went on to have successful pregnancies.

The cost for the procedure, from the first home study to the implantation of the embryos, can run about $15,000 -- not more than many other types of adoption. The embryos themselves are not sold. The genetic parents donate them and are not paid.

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