Tips for De-Stressing Your Holidays

Stress is not necessarily the crowds in the mall, the money spent on gifts, or Aunt Mildred refusing to come to your dinner if Cousin George is there. Stress = Unrealistic expectations of what the “perfect” holiday is. What is perfect for someone else’s family may not be the perfect holiday for yours.

Identify stress points and come up with creative ways to relieve the stress.

PRESSURES

To consume Perfectionism Family strife Lonely let-down (single) "No-name blues”

ATTITUDES

Try to look at situation differently; find the humor If you can’t change it, walk away Scale back on buying (maybe one large gift, draw names, take a family trip) Ignore the “perfection bug” Find a balance (do too much and end up drained and sick; or not doing anything) Family discord – compromise (visit one set of relatives for one holiday and the other for another holiday; switch holidays; let them visit you; find a neutral place to celebrate together; embrace diversity Lonely – “orphan” celebration; volunteer; go on a trip; pamper yourself

PLAN

Delegate – let kids decorate the cookies (or bake!), let teen wrap gifts, let spouse do some of the shopping; let everyone help clean (Maybe won’t be exactly the way you would do it, but it’s ok) Buy time – hire a cleaning service for the pre-party cleaning; get a teen to babysit or walk the dog while you shop or bake; swap babysitting with a friend or make large batches of food and swap; cut back on other appointments Multi-task – Get a gift certificate when you get a manicure, massage, etc.; address holiday cards while you wait at the Dr’s office; read a catalog while you are on the treadmill or exercise bike Decorating – Decorate the most-used rooms instead of the whole house; cut back on decorations indoors and out (“less is more”); do it the same way every year (take photos); store decorations in boxes according to room, label, then pull out one room at a time Shopping – Shop early; make list of names, sizes, ages, likes, etc. and carry in small notebook all year; shop on vacation; Utilize catalogs & internet, give a catalog and gift card, or gift cards for those who enjoy shopping; go to specialized store (hardware, bookstore, gourmet foods) that is less crowded and find some unique gifts; magazine subscription (give copy of the mag with card announcing subscription) Meals – keep meals simple; shop early for staples; cut back (need 10 kinds of cookies?); order from grocery or gourmet and add personal favorites; have guests bring a dish; do a potluck; GO OUT; volunteer at a homeless shelter in lieu of big meal; do brunch instead of dinner; enlist a friend or family member to help; hire a teen to help with clean-up, serving, etc.

Change rituals and routines if it makes you crazy instead of happy.

Plan the holiday that will be happiest for your family, not what you think others think you should do.