‘I was intimidated’: Woman wishes she challenged brother’s control over mother’s finances more

CHARLOTTE — Justine Tobin is an investment banker. She has an eye for detail, especially when it comes to dollars and cents. But she says she was still caught off guard.

“This could happen to anyone so I should speak up about what happened to me,” she said. So she sat down with Action 9 attorney Jason Stoogenke to share her story, hoping others learn from her experience.

She told Stoogenke her mother decided years ago, if she ever needed someone to have power of attorney (POA) over her interests, it would be Tobin’s brother.

She says the time came. So, a few years ago, her brother took control of their mother’s finances. Then, Tobin suspected he was abusing that power.

“So I actually did raise a concern to my mother’s broker,” she said. “And this man told me that it was not my problem. I didn’t have power of attorney and no standing.”

Tobin says her brother took his own life in May last year and that she has been administrator of his estate. “And, in that process, I realize that my brother did use all of my mother‘s money,” she said.

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Now, looking back, she wishes she had done more to challenge her brother’s role as POA. “What I should have done is contacted more people. I didn’t because I was intimidated. I was already reporting my brother for something that everyone else in my family felt could not be true,” she said. “Hope is hopeless in these situations. Don’t hope and take action.”

She says she should have gone above the broker’s head to any of the following:

• The broker’s company’s compliance officer

• AARP

• Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB)

• Financial Industry Regulatory Authority (FINRA)

• N.C. Attorney General‘s office

• Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC)

As fate would have it, last month, FINRA issued this request, asking people to suggest ways to better protect seniors from financial exploitation. Tobin couldn’t believe her eyes and jumped at the chance to weigh in.

Stoogenke and Tobin suggest the following when it comes to POA:

1. If you are the one selecting someone to have POA over your interests, choose someone based on their character and judgment, not age, gender, pressure.

2. If you are concerned someone is abusing their power:

• Act quickly. Don’t assume it will resolve itself.
• Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Contact multiple watchdogs.
• Don’t feel bad if you don’t have a ‘full’ case, all the proof yet. Trust your instincts.

Stoogenke says, if you’re afraid a relative is picking the wrong person to have power of attorney, talk to them, present your concerns logically. But remember: in the end, it’s their decision.

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