Union County schools expand graduation honors for deceased students

UNION COUNTY, N.C. — A Union County mother’s fight to honor her late son at graduation is leading to changes districtwide. After Leslie Stanfield raised concerns about how her son, Christopher, was recognized, school leaders updated guidelines to give families more say in honoring deceased students.

Stanfield just wanted a say in how Christopher was honored at his Porter Ridge High School graduation even though he couldn’t physically be there.

Christopher died in a crash in his junior year.

During the graduation ceremony last spring, Stanfield was heartbroken when she was told his name couldn’t be read aloud.

“I would’ve loved to walk across the stage and get the certificate in his honor, in his name. I didn’t get to do that,” Stanfield said.

Stanfield contacted Tina Skyes-Mosley with Mothers Advocating for Real Change and Unwavering Support (MARCUS) who encouraged her to speak out at the Union County School Board meeting.

In August, the superintendent heard the concerns and said they would consider making changes to its graduation guidelines for this school year.

“I just looked up to the heavens and told Christopher, ‘This was for you,’” Stanfield said. “I didn’t get to experience that but if another parent or family has this misfortune thrust upon them, then they can decide how they want their child honored.”

Stanfield said it gave her hope.

“It helps with healing,” she said. “It helps the family heal helps the friends students heal, so I’m just pleased.”

There is now a list of ways families can honor their deceased loved ones at graduation:

• Private moment of silence: Conduct a private moment of silence with the family, staff, and the student’s peers prior to the ceremony.
• Public moment of silence: Conduct a moment of silence during the ceremony in memory of the student(s).
• Tribute in program
• Memorials
• Support family, staff, and students: Provide a quiet room and counselor presence for the family, staff, and students during the ceremony if necessary.
• Ribbons
• Chair for student: Leave an empty seat (draped with a graduation gown) in the proper alphabetical position or in a designated location near front and center.
• Conferral of degree: If a student earned 22 credits and met all other graduation requirements, confer the degree by calling the student’s name during the recognition of individual graduates.
• Graduation/promotion committee due diligence.

M.A.R.C.U.S. pushed for the change. Skyes-Mosley released a statement that read, in part, “This moment is more than a policy change — it is justice, dignity, and validation for our children and for every parent who has suffered in silence. Our babies lived. Their names deserve to be spoken. M.A.R.C.U.S. will continue to fight for families, create safe spaces for healing, and advocate for compassionate policies that honor the lives we have lost.”

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