What 40 Larry Nassar survivors are building together

DETROIT – Denial and avoidance were the only ways Grace French knew how to cope.

She scrolled past news of Larry Nassar's child pornography and sexual assault trials and avoided questions from friends who knew the now-notorious Michigan State University sports medicine doctor had treated her, too.

"I tried to ignore everything, like everything," said French, 22, of Ann Arbor, Michigan.

A classical ballerina, French said she was molested by Nassar starting at age 12 — just like hundreds of other girls and young women he abused in the guise of medical care.

She'd gone to see the acclaimed doctor for everything from a wrist sprain to hip and lower back problems.

But instead of being treated for pain, more was inflicted upon French as she was sexually groomed and assaulted by the man who was supposed to help her.

After decades of manipulation and cover ups, Nassar, who was known for working with Olympic gymnasts and top college athletes, was sentenced in January in an Ingham County (Michigan) Courthouse after pleading guilty to seven counts of first-degree criminal sexual conduct involving hundreds of female athletes.

But French still wasn't yet ready to face the truth about happened to her.

"He was so revered," she said. "He was a doctor, and I wasn’t supposed to question what happened.

"I definitely had the feelings of dread going into his office and thinking about what could happen and what I didn’t want to happen, but it never came to the point where I expressed it because I was supposed to be quiet and do what I was told so I could get back to dancing. All I wanted, honestly, was to get back on that dance floor and be able to dance."

She summoned the courage to watch via livestream as dozens of women gave their victim-impact statements at Nassar's sentencing hearing. Their words roused the truth from deep within her, and drove her to find a better way to cope.

She went to court on the final day of the seven-day hearing and gave Judge Rosemarie Aquilina a letter that would serve as her own statement: "My friends ... have shown me what strength is. It has taken time to find my voice, but I speak now for that little girl who sat terrified in his office, afraid to speak up, because maybe it really was 'treatment.'

"I know I am stronger than anything he did to me. I have grown up, and I am no longer afraid to speak up."

Building an army

French has become an advocate for sexual abuse survivors and is now starting a nonprofit organization called The Army of Survivors to provide help, resources and support to others.

French spoke out at Michigan State University board meeting, and went to Washington, D.C., on Tuesday with about 80 other women who were abused by Nassar to listen to interim university president John Engler testify before a U.S. Senate subcommittee about his leadership in the months since the scandal unfolded.

She helped coordinate the teal ribbon campaign her mother, Valerie von Frank, started in East Lansing, Michigan. Teal is the color of sexual assault awareness, and von Frank set the university campus awash in the color — tying ribbons to trees in honor of the Nassar victims.

"I think from there this entire mission started spreading, and making sure that we have teal everywhere," French said. "Of course, teal is the color of sexual assault survivors, so it wasn’t an extremely big leap, but she was the one who got the ball rolling on making sure we had it present in every way possible."

Students and supporters began to wear teal T-shirts and ribbons, too.

Yet it didn't surprise French that Engler wasn't wearing a teal ribbon at Tuesday's Senate hearing. It was, she said, "a statement of his lack of empathy towards us, in my opinion, and just going to greater lengths to make us feel like we aren’t acknowledged in his mind."

The idea to start The Army of Survivors came from generous people looking for a way to help.

"It started with a lot of people coming to us and asking us to share our stories, and then asking where they can donate money because I think it’s affected so many people in a personal way," French said.

"People don’t know how they can help. Being able to direct them to one place, and say this is where you can go. You can put your money here, and we’ll give it to nonprofits that we think can make a huge impact.

"We will continue as survivors to … fund advocacy across the nation, to make sure these bills get passed, to make sure we have a voice and that we are empowering survivors and changing the conversation around sexual assault."

The name of the nonprofit is a nod to Amanda Thomashow, another athlete Nassar assaulted, who used the term "Army of survivors" in her victim-impact statement at his sentencing.

A former cheerleader and Michigan State University grad, Thomashow told Nassar: "You didn't realize you were building an army of survivors who see you for what you are — a sexual predator. We will rise as an army of female warriors who will never let you or another man drunk off of power get away with such evil again."

Thomashow gave her blessing to use the words, French said, and now French is rallying other Nassar survivors to help her build the nonprofit.

Sara Teristi is among them.

Teristi, 43, now lives in Raleigh, North Carolina, but grew up in Dimondale, Michigan, and trained under John Geddert at Great Lakes Gymnastics.

Starting at age 14, Nassar treated her for dislocated ribs, chest, back and neck pain, a fractured tailbone and a knee injury. Like French, it took Teristi a while to realize that what Nassar said was medical treatment was anything but.

"My freshman year in college, I was having a very hard time dealing with things and I had realized he had abused me in more than one way," said Teristi, who will serve on The Army of Survivors board of directors.

"I told a therapist at Western Michigan University, who told me that I was embellishing things. So I stopped. I stopped talking. I didn’t tell anyone again until 30 years later, when I heard all these women and girls at Larry’s sentencing and I came to the realization that I wasn’t crazy, and their stories were eerily similar to mine, and that I had been abused.

"I had buried it for 30 years and was in complete denial."

When Teristi came to terms with the truth, she felt she needed to do something to help others.

"I really want to make sure that no survivor has to go through what I did again, where you try to speak your truth, and you’re shut down and you’re ignored," Teristi said. "It really resonated with me that she (French) wants the organization to help many other groups make it easier for survivors to be heard and believed and empowered. I don’t believe anybody should be shut down."

Support matters 

Teristi said it's helped her to have the backing of such a huge group of Nassar survivors.

"This is a horrendous experience for anyone to have to go through," she said. "For somebody to have to go through it alone, I can’t even imagine. I am lucky to have so many women to lean on and who can help me through the tough times and know what I’m talking about."

French is working with an attorney now to get the nonprofit legally registered so it can start taking donations. She also is building partnerships with other organizations that work on behalf of sexual assault victims, such as the Firecracker Foundation and the the Lansing-based End Violent Encounters, better known as EVE.

French urges those who are interested in helping to follow the organizations on social media or send an email to thearmyofsurvivors@gmail.com. The Army of Survivors has Instagram account, @thearmyofsurvivors, and a Twitter account, too: @survivorsarmy.

She said about 40 women who were abused by Nassar are involved and getting it started.

"There is so much more we need to do in keeping institutions responsible for what happens under their roof, and to make sure that other survivors — even those not involved in this — are heard and believed and empowered."

Follow Kristen Jordan Shamus on Twitter: @kristenshamus 

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